Thursday, April 21, 2011

Coup de Blog and Villainous Guest Post

Ms. Keire can't come and out and blog today.  She's gotten behind schedule, and we characters simply can't let it slide this time. Once was fine; the tornado was deliciously terrifying and really did throw a kink in things. I understand senseless destruction on a grand scale as well as the next villain. I even approve of it and, on rare occasions, indulge in it recreationally

Ms. Keire will remain confined to quarters until I SAY SO. I, Asheroth, Dark Nephilim Guardian... WHAT!?!  What do you mean, humans need food? And water, too? Fine, whatever. The woman had better write fast.

I'm assuming control of Ms. Keire's blog and have locked her in her writer's studio until further notice. Every moment that Ms. Keire continues to breathe air as a free woman is one moment more that I must wait to unleash more of me upon the world! Oh, and Caspia says normal people are waiting, too. (There, Caspia. Are you happy? Will you go away now? And what did you mean with that normal comment?) Ahem. 

Some of the nicer characters wanted to be in charge of Ms. Keire's welfare while she puts the finishing touches on her second book. It was hard for me to hear their reasoning over the gales of evil laughter that accompanied their pathetic pleas. Eventually, they became sad and went away. Hopefully, we've seen the last of them. 

In the meantime, I'll be hanging around Ms. Keire's blog, doing all the things a good guest host does: going through her mail, responding to questions, passing along her pleas updates, rearranging the bookshelves, redecorating (can we say too much blue?), blaring the stereo. I'm excited. It will be like one big virtual evil sleepover. 

Hopefully, Ms. Keire will finish before I forget to feed and water her.

In the meantime, please enjoy some Sympathy for the Devil, by The Rolling Stones:

Or, if you prefer something more uplifting, here's Jeff Buckley performing the Leonard Cohen classic "Hallelujah." (Happy now, Caspia? No, DO NOT wish me a Happy Easter. Oh, fine. I'll take the stupid chocolate bunny. But only if it's headless.)


  1. Dear Asheroth:
    Did you cause the damage to Vicki's house with your addiction to violence and evil? Because you almost sound as if you approve or something. There are places you can go to get help. Maybe not for being evil, but for addiction.

  2. Dear Asheroth:
    You're being very kind to help Vicki out with her regularly scheduled blogging duties, but I wonder if you perhaps have ulterior motives. I mean - the Rolling Stones? That's the kind of name-dropping that makes one (ie -You) stand out as wee bit pompous. And, er attention-seeking. And, I might add, on a weekend more regularly scheduled for your nemesis.

  3. My pregnant emotions can't handle many more delays. Do not let her out until the second book is done.

  4. @Amanda: I definitely do not have power over the weather. But it's sweet that you think I might. As for being addicted to either violence OR evil, let me say I am emphatically NOT. It's recreational. I can quit anytime.

    @Shari: A Happy Easter to you as well. I shall endeavor to change the stereo between now and Sunday. I am in fact rather lowly in the pecking order- certainly no nemesis of the Lord's only begotten. Caspia (the do-gooder) is perpetually trying to convince me I'm merely insane, megalomaniacal, and gone over to the Dark side, rather than truly evil. I personally think she's been watching too much Star Wars. Pompous and attention seeking I totally agree with, though.

    @Darcy- Don't worry, dearest. She won't see the faintest hint of daylight.

  5. You'd better remember to feed Vicki. If she goes, you do too. And we're just getting to know each other.

  6. @ Andrew: Do you think she can survive off the discarded chocolate bunny head, or are we talking grocery store trip here?
    Humans. So complicated, with your circulatory systems and breathing and all.